2.0 – ‘Survivior’s Guilt’, College Edition

Hi guys! So as I mentioned before, I’m a college junior. The school year is just starting up and yet it seems that so many of my friends and peers are already incredibly stressed out and weighed down by work, research, and various obligations that are looming over them. The students at my school are all very hard working individuals, and a lot of my South Asian friends are pre-med, which brings on an incredible amount of stress.

I sometimes feel like the odd one out-I slack off on work constantly and yet I still manage to get by. I don’t think I have nearly the amount of work, readings, or quizzes/tests as others. I’ll be starting a more intensive business curriculum this semester, which will challenge me on my introversion more than my intellect, but I still feel that I have more free time than others to do stupid time-wasting activities like watching Netflix.

I understand that how I feel is an emotion built off of privilege; guilt isn’t an emotion that can cause hardships in the same way exorbitant amounts of work can. Sure, I also face incredible stress at times, but that mostly stems from my slight social anxiety and self-inflicted procrastination. Even though I can’t really know what other students are going through, I feel helpless and in pain at seeing others like this all the time. One of my best friends is especially feeling the weight of pre-med responsibilities, and it’s hard knowing there’s nothing I can do to lessen the things she has to do. All I can offer others is my support-and I’m trying to learn how to do that.

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1.0 – Introduction

Hello there! This is my brand new blog and I’m going to be trying a bit of a strange format, so bear with me-but first, some more about me.

I’m a junior at an American university and I’m studying business. As an introvert with a touch of social anxiety (and a desperate fear of public speaking), logically the very extroverted world of business would be the last place you’d find me. But it’s something I want to do and I am determined to push my limits, because I don’t want to go through life not knowing how far I can get past my fears.

I’ve gone through a lot in life, whether it be family, friends, school, anxiety, etc. I feel overwhelmed sometimes and I hope that by using writing as an outlet, I can stay grounded and remind myself just how privileged I am to be where I am now.

This blog will be random snippets of my daily (or weekly, or monthly) thoughts/feelings about anything and everything. I’m trying to follow a journal style so my posts may not be exciting reads for a passing stranger, but my hope is that by chronicling my emotions in their immediate and raw forms, they’ll be relatable and helpful to anyone who may be experiencing similar things. (Edit: I’ll title personal posts with a number, like 6.00, while more general posts won’t have numbers)

I hope that if you pop in at any time to follow me on my journey, you’ll be able to take something that will aid you with yours. And now that I’m done being a bit cheesy and dramatic, thanks for being here!